Part I: Polyamory, Monogamy and other types of bonds explained: How Secure and Insecure Attachment Styles manifest in adult romantic and non-romantic relationships.
Part I: Polyamory, Monogamy and other types of bonds explained: How Secure and Insecure Attachment Styles manifest in adult romantic and non-romantic relationships.
I had no idea there were so many variations and potential constellations of partner relationships... it's the first time I even read the title 'attachment style theory'.
on the other hand, I expect the boundaries can become blurry quickly, especially in our contemporary culture where relationship styles and their definitions become as unique and personal as the partners themselves.
In all the relationship jungle I picked out this paragraph as key to our personal attachment and relationship with life itself:
"I believe it is best to choose reality—what is available to us right now—over ideals, projections, or fantasy that are not in our proximity. We can work towards them, but what we have now is easier to use for change and exploration."
Thank you Katerina for another broad and deep piece 🙏 💕
🙏 💕 Indeed, there are numerous variations and potentials in different types of partnerships, whether they are romantic or living arrangements, as well as other possibilities. Like you, I was taken surprised!:))
Part of being conscious in relationships is knowing how to communicate your needs and set boundaries, which I feel can get blurry quickly if it feels like hard work or we lack experience in setting or exploring different boundaries.
John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth's extensive research and work with children, which I recently rediscovered after reading about them many years ago, have had a significant impact on our understanding of attachment style theory and the scientific field of neurobiology.
Most importantly, their experiments clearly showed how mothers and infants interact, as well as the various outcomes. They have monitored and gathered information for parents who can learn to engage in healthy interactions with their children.
I also find it fascinating that tribal people know how to instinctively care for their children, caring for them skin on skin for the first years of their lives and providing safety, play, and support through community-based child-rearing. I believe that this contemporary research demonstrates and also reflects our disconnection from ourselves and from the natural world.
I find it difficult to grasp the significance of how our early experiences, particularly on an emotional level, since we give language to our emotions later in our childhood; our feelings are our way of living until we learn how to express them, and they shape our current lives, even if we don't consciously remember them.
I've spent a lot of time researching how and why people behave in relationships as they do, and I've discovered that feeling secure is essential to all of our life experiences, including love, sex, the pursuit of success, and the ability to sense others' gazes.
We have internalized so much as infants that now as adults, we may be unable to recognize our own self-worth and abilities, and we may still have operate from our initial distortion caused by how our caregivers prepared us for a life.
But, as I've said in this post and know for sure, we are creative beings that can change, adapt, and relearn. With exposure to the right experiences, to education and finding good people to trust and inspire us, we can rewire ourselves and how we experience life, love, and success.
You are one of them, so thank you for opening the dialogue and sharing your knowledge!
This post has been a treasure chest of useful information. I have polyamorous friend. I love them and am in love with one. I recognise so much of my experience in what you write
I value your opinion, Tinashe. It makes me happy to hear that my post was helpful. Many of the topics I choose are complex and difficult to organize, but I'm trying, learning not to lose myself in all the details, so I appreciate you reading it! Good day!
I had no idea there were so many variations and potential constellations of partner relationships... it's the first time I even read the title 'attachment style theory'.
on the other hand, I expect the boundaries can become blurry quickly, especially in our contemporary culture where relationship styles and their definitions become as unique and personal as the partners themselves.
In all the relationship jungle I picked out this paragraph as key to our personal attachment and relationship with life itself:
"I believe it is best to choose reality—what is available to us right now—over ideals, projections, or fantasy that are not in our proximity. We can work towards them, but what we have now is easier to use for change and exploration."
Thank you Katerina for another broad and deep piece 🙏 💕
🙏 💕 Indeed, there are numerous variations and potentials in different types of partnerships, whether they are romantic or living arrangements, as well as other possibilities. Like you, I was taken surprised!:))
Part of being conscious in relationships is knowing how to communicate your needs and set boundaries, which I feel can get blurry quickly if it feels like hard work or we lack experience in setting or exploring different boundaries.
John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth's extensive research and work with children, which I recently rediscovered after reading about them many years ago, have had a significant impact on our understanding of attachment style theory and the scientific field of neurobiology.
Most importantly, their experiments clearly showed how mothers and infants interact, as well as the various outcomes. They have monitored and gathered information for parents who can learn to engage in healthy interactions with their children.
I also find it fascinating that tribal people know how to instinctively care for their children, caring for them skin on skin for the first years of their lives and providing safety, play, and support through community-based child-rearing. I believe that this contemporary research demonstrates and also reflects our disconnection from ourselves and from the natural world.
I find it difficult to grasp the significance of how our early experiences, particularly on an emotional level, since we give language to our emotions later in our childhood; our feelings are our way of living until we learn how to express them, and they shape our current lives, even if we don't consciously remember them.
I've spent a lot of time researching how and why people behave in relationships as they do, and I've discovered that feeling secure is essential to all of our life experiences, including love, sex, the pursuit of success, and the ability to sense others' gazes.
We have internalized so much as infants that now as adults, we may be unable to recognize our own self-worth and abilities, and we may still have operate from our initial distortion caused by how our caregivers prepared us for a life.
But, as I've said in this post and know for sure, we are creative beings that can change, adapt, and relearn. With exposure to the right experiences, to education and finding good people to trust and inspire us, we can rewire ourselves and how we experience life, love, and success.
You are one of them, so thank you for opening the dialogue and sharing your knowledge!
This post has been a treasure chest of useful information. I have polyamorous friend. I love them and am in love with one. I recognise so much of my experience in what you write
Your essay is written in a detailed, and informative style. You cover complex topics using scientific terms and concepts. Thank you for sharing.
I value your opinion, Tinashe. It makes me happy to hear that my post was helpful. Many of the topics I choose are complex and difficult to organize, but I'm trying, learning not to lose myself in all the details, so I appreciate you reading it! Good day!