The Impact of Self-Perception on Relationship Quality. We construct "self-trap" images, beliefs, and fixed ideas about ourselves, then expect others to mirror back to us.
Another inspiring article, brimming with information about relationship with self and others. I'm not familiar with all of your references, but resonate most with the suggestions of Franz Ruppert about compatibility being dependent on the healing of childhood trauma. The more we are in our own centre, the healthier the partnership choices we can make (that's not a theory, it's my experience too).
Symbiosis, of course, can be healthy and sick(ening). With regards to sameness and differences, I would perhaps like to add some suggestions of more differentiation... what needs to be same/ familiar, and which aspects need to be different for healthy symbiosis?
One aspect, for example, I have found essential for compatibility in longterm relationships is the same willingness, readiness and capacity for inner growth. (you may even have mentioned that somewhere already)
So many threads you are offering your readers, so much food for thought...
Thank you Katerina 💗🙏
One small correction at the beginning, where you write "particularly from the portrayals of authoritarian figures such as parents and teachers."
Veronika, Thank you so much for your thoughtful feedback; it is, as always, very helpful and needed! I'm glad the article reached you.
Yes, Franz Ruppert's insights on childhood trauma and relationship compatibility are powerful. I enjoy all of his books, as well as his tone of writing. It helps that your experience matches his theories. Your point about the balance of similarities and differences in relationships is spot on. Shared commitment to inner growth is not one of the things that keeps people together, IT IS THE THING :)); I will include it among the top "sameness" values that people in relationships must understand and share in order to grow.
I appreciate your suggestion to detail what should be familiar, the same, and what might differ in a healthy symbiosis. It will be more clear in my next post when I discuss Ronald Fairbairn's Object Relations Theory and Fairbairn's concept of splitting (dividing objects into wholly good or bad).
I intentionally left some space in this post to avoid being overly detailed, as I want to correct this in my writing, which is very hard, but I will include this topic in my next one. He believed that our primary caregivers become internalized objects of desire in our psyches, influencing how we develop future relationships.
Healthy symbiosis requires a balance of sameness (shared values, mutual support) and differences (individual growth, new perspectives). Meanwhile, I hope you enjoy August, dolce far niente mood! 💗🙏
Thank you for your kind words and insights! PS: I have corrected my grammatical error; thank you!
"Shared commitment to inner growth is not one of the things that keeps people together, IT IS THE THING" ~ you said it, and I tend to agree ;-) just wanted to be more careful about bold claims, especially since it's not my article.
I haven't read Franz Ruppert (yet) but watched several interviews, and also have read some of Vivian Broughton's work who, I seem to remember, is one of his students and has helped to spread Ruppert's work in the English speaking world.
Well, our 'dolce far niente' involves an unusual (for us) amount of travelling this year. We're off to the South of France tomorrow, and then to the Algarve end of August (we must be mad... but fortunately, this summer is not too hot, so far)
This is an unfiltered, spontaneous statement from me, not intended as a universal truth because of all the nuances in this idea. It may be in my personal life a very important value to be shared and looked at by others; I will limit myself to that.:)) Thank you for pointing out! ❤
Some people could have a growth mindset and still be incompatible with others who also have a similar need for growth, so yes, this does not guarantee a quality relationship. You are right to be careful, and too bold. :)
Your plans sound great, and this summer has proven to be easy on us. What wonderful travel plans you have! This summer was not too hot, just right, for many of us here in Europe. Thank you, Veronika, for the conversation and for sharing your thoughts! ✨🍋
Another inspiring article, brimming with information about relationship with self and others. I'm not familiar with all of your references, but resonate most with the suggestions of Franz Ruppert about compatibility being dependent on the healing of childhood trauma. The more we are in our own centre, the healthier the partnership choices we can make (that's not a theory, it's my experience too).
Symbiosis, of course, can be healthy and sick(ening). With regards to sameness and differences, I would perhaps like to add some suggestions of more differentiation... what needs to be same/ familiar, and which aspects need to be different for healthy symbiosis?
One aspect, for example, I have found essential for compatibility in longterm relationships is the same willingness, readiness and capacity for inner growth. (you may even have mentioned that somewhere already)
So many threads you are offering your readers, so much food for thought...
Thank you Katerina 💗🙏
One small correction at the beginning, where you write "particularly from the portrayals of authoritarian figures such as parents and teachers."
I think you mean 'authority figures' here.
Veronika, Thank you so much for your thoughtful feedback; it is, as always, very helpful and needed! I'm glad the article reached you.
Yes, Franz Ruppert's insights on childhood trauma and relationship compatibility are powerful. I enjoy all of his books, as well as his tone of writing. It helps that your experience matches his theories. Your point about the balance of similarities and differences in relationships is spot on. Shared commitment to inner growth is not one of the things that keeps people together, IT IS THE THING :)); I will include it among the top "sameness" values that people in relationships must understand and share in order to grow.
I appreciate your suggestion to detail what should be familiar, the same, and what might differ in a healthy symbiosis. It will be more clear in my next post when I discuss Ronald Fairbairn's Object Relations Theory and Fairbairn's concept of splitting (dividing objects into wholly good or bad).
I intentionally left some space in this post to avoid being overly detailed, as I want to correct this in my writing, which is very hard, but I will include this topic in my next one. He believed that our primary caregivers become internalized objects of desire in our psyches, influencing how we develop future relationships.
Healthy symbiosis requires a balance of sameness (shared values, mutual support) and differences (individual growth, new perspectives). Meanwhile, I hope you enjoy August, dolce far niente mood! 💗🙏
Thank you for your kind words and insights! PS: I have corrected my grammatical error; thank you!
"Shared commitment to inner growth is not one of the things that keeps people together, IT IS THE THING" ~ you said it, and I tend to agree ;-) just wanted to be more careful about bold claims, especially since it's not my article.
I haven't read Franz Ruppert (yet) but watched several interviews, and also have read some of Vivian Broughton's work who, I seem to remember, is one of his students and has helped to spread Ruppert's work in the English speaking world.
Well, our 'dolce far niente' involves an unusual (for us) amount of travelling this year. We're off to the South of France tomorrow, and then to the Algarve end of August (we must be mad... but fortunately, this summer is not too hot, so far)
This is an unfiltered, spontaneous statement from me, not intended as a universal truth because of all the nuances in this idea. It may be in my personal life a very important value to be shared and looked at by others; I will limit myself to that.:)) Thank you for pointing out! ❤
Some people could have a growth mindset and still be incompatible with others who also have a similar need for growth, so yes, this does not guarantee a quality relationship. You are right to be careful, and too bold. :)
Your plans sound great, and this summer has proven to be easy on us. What wonderful travel plans you have! This summer was not too hot, just right, for many of us here in Europe. Thank you, Veronika, for the conversation and for sharing your thoughts! ✨🍋