The Money Complex: Understanding Your Relationship With Money. Greed, Idealized Poverty and Healthy Wealth. Psychological Roots of Money.
Money symbolism throughout history. How do family dynamics and emotions around money impact and predict future financial patterns.
One universal truth is that we have an existential relationship with money.
Our everyday lives revolve around money and our ability to make, keep, and multiply it.
We frequently associate our self-worth, ability, and intelligence with our financial success, creating a pull-push dynamic in our lives that can lead to constant fear of the future, discomfort, anxiety, shame or helplessness, workoholism, and a retraumatization of our sense of safety and belonging whenever money varies.
In summary, our finances, or those of others, can trigger a wide range of emotional reactions.
Given this topic's taboo nature and the importance of our relationship with money, I believe it is highly relevant to write about this existential aspect of our lives.
If we are not aware of how money influences and shapes our emotions and decisions in life, we cannot understand how it may and will change our lives and choices, including our health, relationships, partners, jobs, family dynamics, sexual and personal identities, opinions, and the way we engage in real-life experiences.
How we spend, create, and maintain our money reflects our absorbed attitudes from our caregivers, as I discuss below. Though we may not be conscious of it, our victim mentality, greed, or carelessness reveal a very well-established inner system that we nonetheless continue to perpetuate, even when it is not to our best advantage. We may want to have a certain outcome when it comes to money, but we simply cannot align our actions with our real needs.
Considering our beliefs (and resistance to change) about money can help us gain consciousness of the meaning behind our behavior and make small adjustments so we can fulfill our dreams, potential, and aspirations from a place of self-knowledge—our most precious wealth.
Table of content:
The history of Money
The psychological roots of Money
The Money Archetype: Maternal and Paternal Influences
We need to belong/ Inner critical voice/Guilt & Shame
Money from a neuropsychological perpective
Money's mythical power: Hermes and Transformation
Greed/Idealize poverty/Healthy Wealth/Entitlement
Women and Their Legacy of Financial Disempowerment
*References
The History of Money
The history of money dates back to before written history began.
The Temple of Juno Moneta (ancient Roman goddess, equal to Hera of Greek mythology), "moneta" (from which the words "money" and "monetize" are derived, and in Greek "moneres", meaning "alone” or “unique”) was an ancient Roman temple located near to the site where the Roman currencies were originally coined, and it most likely held the metal and coins used in this operation, establishing the historical tradition of connecting coins with temples, also served as the repository for the magistrates' books.
While nobody knows for sure where “money” came from, archaeological finds point to a variety of objects used as currency in ancient marketplaces. Money of account, which consists of transactions recorded in financial records, and money of exchange, which is a physical medium of trade created from a variety of materials, are the two primary manifestations of money throughout history.
The use of representative money, such as clay tokens, predates the invention of coinage. Metals, such as bronze and silver, were also used as money in barter systems and monetary systems. As they are finite resources we find value in what is rare.
The introduction of coins, made of gold, silver, or bronze, occurred in various civilizations around the world.
”One unit of value was cattle, which were used as currency up to around 1400 CE, long after the introduction of coinage. This could be “exchanged” to a value in sét, “jewels”, ungae, “ounce” (usually of silver), or cumal, “female slave”. The mug, “male slave”, was never used as a unit of value. The cumal seems to have been the basic unit and may have been worth 2 sét,, but if one was being paid reparation for a crime, it would be paid in sét if you were a noble or a poet below the rank of king, and in cattle if you were a farmer.”*1
Paper money was first introduced in China during the 11th century and later spread to Europe. The use of bills of exchange and tallies also played a role in the development of money. Goldsmith bankers in England acted as financial intermediaries and issued receipts certifying the quantity and purity of the metal they held. These receipts evolved into assignable instruments, which circulated as a form of money.
The first European banknotes were issued in Sweden in 1661.
These banknotes replaced the use of copper plates as a means of payment. Inspired by the success of the London goldsmiths, banks began issuing paper notes, or banknotes, which circulated as a form of money backed by the bank's promise to pay.
Overall, the history of money is a complex and evolving story of the development of systems for the exchange, storage, and measurement of wealth. From ancient barter systems to modern digital currencies, money has played a crucial role in facilitating economic transactions, creates societies and our personal identities and life experiences.
The psychological roots of Money
Social norms, family attitudes, and the environment shape our relationship with money in early childhood. Our experiences of hardship or success creates our money mindset, which we inherit from our caretakers in terms of saving, spending, and financial decision-making. If we grew up in a household where money was a continual cause of stress, we may develop fear, worry, mistrust, and shame about how we handle our finances as adults.
If we grew up in a family with an abundance of resources, a good life, emotional safety, and comforting experiences that affirm our place in the world as a trusting one, we may inherit a free-flowing relationship with money, and the world will reflect this back to us, but this sounds more like an ideal- economic inequality, emotional variability, societal influence, and life unpredictability are all complexities of our financial lives, and even if we have a resilient relationship with money, we need to consider the way we relate to money and how it impacts us and those around us.
The Money Archetype: Maternal and Paternal Influences
When we want to understand the roots of some of our patterns we turn to the wisdom of archetypes, universal symbols repeated throughout history, this way we can understand our financial psyche.
Carl Jung established though his work of studying Archetypes, that akin to a nurturing Mother the one who provides us with a sense of worthiness, security, and breast nurturing when we need it, through her care, our mother make us feel valued and welcomed in the world.
This warm feminine energy lays the groundwork for a healthy relationship with money by being generous, receiving, giving, and creating resources. On the other hand, the "Father," or masculine energy, manages money, directs it, participates in society, is transactional, and sets limits. Balancing those two energies can help us understand how to act around money. Giving money unconditionally, like a mother would give her love, is not a good idea, and being too restrictive with money can lead to greed. However, balancing this flow and allowing money to circle is one healthy way of looking at your finances.
Meanings of Mother→Material→Money *3
maternity: "mother"hood
maternal: of a “mother”
matrimony: state of marriage conducive to becoming a “mother”
material: the “mother” of construction
matter: the “mother” of all material
matrix: a “mother” from which things arise
matriarch: a ruler who is a “mother”
matron: dignified “mother”
matriculate: to enter into a school which cares for you like a “mother” would
This nurturing environment teaches us our first experience of success: we deserve our place in the world; we deserve good things. When we strive for our personal affirmation as adults, the world will embrace us, leading us to establish our financial stability and success as a result of our work and deservingness of human experience.
On the other hand, we need to balance this energy with the masculine one, which is our father, the figure who represents authority, boundaries, and limits. The father role is to teach us the importance of discipline and responsibility, how to assert our potential in society, how to be part of a community, and how to give meaning to our work.
Masculine, father figures assist us in understanding the value of money, budgeting, and the importance of setting financial limits.
This dual guidance includes investing responsibly and confidently in our ability to handle "money" (the value of money is relative and has a unique representation as people are in the world), and trusting that the world will make room for us and provide us with resources, just as our parents did.
We need to belong/ Inner critical voice/Guilt
When we lacked the safety of a nurturing, warm breast, emotional closeness, and we experienced constant anxiety about our place in our family, when we felt small and inadequate, when we had to tread carefully to avoid upsetting our parents, and when our childhood life lacked structure, limits, joy, rest, playfulness, and magic, we may unconsciously translate this into our adult behavior in our relationship with money as a self worth system, interpreting it as meaning that the world is a dangerous place that does not have room for us, we must fight, work hard for our place, work until we deserve good things and then we will be loved and appreciated.
If we hold the inherited belief that the world is unwelcoming and dangerous and we must adapt by blending in, we may choose to maintain a low profile, appear unnoticed, or display our intelligence, beauty, or competitiveness in order to gain a sense of worth. This approach can lead to feelings of shame for not receiving attention for our true selves, attracting circumstances that validate our deepest fears of not belonging.
Most times, despite achieving financial stability and buying the things that make us feel comfortable, spending to little or to much, struggles continue even when we have a tangible wealth of money, as emotions stem from a deep need for recognition, deservingness, and worthiness.
In contrast, we witness entitlement-seeking children constantly receiving presents as a kind of pampering or, to soothe, rewards as a way of controlling their behavior. If one parent spends money on expensive presents as a proof of love while the other complains about a lack of money, those children may develop an inner conflict (voice) of desiring expensive lifestyle while also feeling guilty for wanting it.
People are often irrational about money because it is associated with deep, subconscious memories from past experiences. We acquire the "critical inner voice," a negative conflictual thought process, from our early life experiences and this results in internalizing this inner critical voice as our own.
If their parents constantly make them feel guilty about their requests, a child may grow up greedy or adopt secrecy about money, which leads to more internalized guilt and a feeling of not being worthy.
The Guilt→Shame game
”Guilt comes up when we believe we’ve gone against our values. So when you notice this feeling, try to remember that the relationship you’ve developed with money over your life could be making you feel guilty when you just don’t need to be.Shame happens when we don’t take action on our feelings of guilt. Guilt tells us, “You did something bad.” But shame goes deeper. We might think, “I did something that goes against my values. So I must be bad.”
When it comes to our money, many different things can trigger feelings of guilt. That might be not having enough money, spending more money than you think you should, or even having plenty of money in the bank when other people don’t.”*2
MONEY FROM NEUROPSYCHOLGICAL PERSPECTIVE
”At the hormonal level, chasing the money is addictive because while conferring the trappings of power and associated high social status, it releases the same dopamine as a chemical signal in the brain reward system (ventral tegmental area, nucleus accumbens, Amygdala, and sublenticular extended amygdala) that is released by cocaine use, chocolate, sex, and food (Breiter et al., 2001). Not only the acquisition of money activates the brain reward system, but the distribution of the money in charitable activity also activates the same neural system (Hubbard et al., 2016). In addition, the gut microbiota, a part of the gut microbiota brain axis, that influences many of man's behavior, may induce altruistic behavior in him (Lewin-Epstein et al., 2017; Sheth, 2021).”
Money's mythical power: Hermes and Transformation
Money, alike the deity Hermes, has this wonderful, mystical property that allows us to make our wishes come true, live a wide life and travel fast.
Hermes was an Olympian deity in ancient Greek religion and mythology, known as the gods' herald. He is also known as the protector of human travelers, thieves, traders, and orators. His winged sandals allow him to move quickly and easily between the ordinary and divine realms.
Hermes is the psychopomp: "soul guide" who guides souls into the afterlife, and his link with money awakens us to the allure potential of change and transformation that money can bring.
All people should have access to a sufficient amount of money to meet their basic needs, as it is a fundamental human right. Unfortunately, our current world does not operate from this perspective. Only when we meet our basic needs can we reach our potential and make self-actualization; otherwise, we remain in a state of survival and fail to fulfill our wanted destiny and desires, locked in the realm of imagination, unable to bring dreams to reality.
As a result, the prospect of money keeps us grounded, making us always alert, constantly assessing the world, and seeking any opportunities to bring our dreams to life while narrowing our vision, perspectives, and capacities.
Greed/Idealize poverty/Healthy Wealth/Entitled
Henry David Thoreau
"Wealth is the ability to fully experience life."
The word "Wealth" comes from the english word "wela" which means well-being or welfare.
"Wela" is derived from germanic root "well-" which means wellness.
Wealth is not just about having money; it is about having the resources and capabilities to achieve your goals, live comfortably, and create opportunities for the future. It includes both tangible and intangible elements that contribute to a person's overall quality of life and ability to influence their environment.
Some religious dogmas may encourage us to idealize poverty, leading to a suspicion of the wealthy or the desire for personal comfort. They may also suggest that the desire for money in the material world is a sign of sin, thereby instilling a sense of shame in those who desire it.
It's possible to misunderstand spirituality’s purpose, as the true message might suggest that each of us, individually, should embrace our own concept of abundance and wealth.
I firmly believe that it is our responsibility to contribute to the world, bringing forward something of ourselves by using money as a medium of exchange, while simultaneously realizing our potential and enhancing our creativity. This could contribute to a healthy economy by nurturing a conscious mindset when handling money, making the best decisions for ourselves and those around us, and taking into account the impact we have on environment.
Greed
Fear, uncertainty, and societal factors fuel greed, a powerful desire to accumulate money and material possessions. Its causes include scarcity, poor self-esteem, societal factors, psychological traits, and the brain's reward system. Greed may cause psychological isolation, chronic stress, health issues, and ethical compromises, all of which contribute to inequity, environmental damage, and a breakdown in trust.
Addressing greed requires a process of introspection that leads to self-awareness, and alignment with core values. Societal reforms, such as increasing financial education and fostering cultural movements away from materialism, might help to minimize systemic greed.
Narcissism, a self–centered excessive preoccupation with oneself and one's own needs, often at the expense of others and impulsivity may push people to seek continual praise and instant fulfillment via material possessions.
There is also the infantile fantasy of having everything we desire without any challenges, which can be very seductive for people. Money can to isolate us from others, create division in the world, and buffer us from the harsh realities of life, all of which can be detrimental to our well-being. Notably, this shield from reality can foster strange and unhealthy fantasies, which may end up being tolerated due to their association with the wealth status of social ladder and eventually become the norm.
Entitlement
Someone who is entitled believes they are deserving of recognition, bonuses, honors, or promotion even when they haven't worked for them.
They prioritize themselves and their wants above everyone else, often believing that rules do not apply to them.
Parents can unknowingly cultivate an attitude of entitlement in their children. Parental behaviors that can instill a sense of entitlement in children include being a peer, giving children equal say in decisions, making them “mini me”, bribing kids with treats to behave, and rewarding them for showing up.
Bribing children with treats is not the same as a reward, and rewarding them for showing up is not the same as recognizing participation.
Modeling entitled behavior themselves is another way parents can instill entitlement in their children. Parents should take a good, honest look at their own behavior and avoid expecting special treatment in social situations. Unchecked entitlement can have more serious consequences than temper tantrums or stubbornness.
The attitude of entitlement is often an attempt to avoid adversity, difficulty, and challenge. An inability to build resilience can leave children vulnerable, as they may look for methods of escape to make things feel better, such as drugs or alcohol.
Women and Their Legacy of Financial Disempowerment
Women have historically faced systematic exclusion from economic power. For centuries, laws and societal norms prevented women from owning property, earning their own money, or even having a bank account.
In today's world, most women have financial freedom, but echoes of past constraints linger and still define our relationship with money.
Our mothers, grandmothers, and great-grandmothers often had to rely entirely on men for financial security. This dependence wasn't just practical; it was enforced by the structures of those times. Many women experience significant stress and anxiety when managing their money, rooted in this transgenerational trauma, balancing traditional roles with new financial responsibilities, which is creating a new social-economic dynamic.
This new era is about more than solely financial security; it's about reclaiming control, building independence, and establishing a legacy of empowerment for future generations.
This was my 18th post! Covering the fields of psychology, science, art, and history, I have a deep desire to understand the complexity of the human mind and behavior. My posts are free and educational, but if you consider a paid subscription, I will be more than grateful. While I have based this article mostly on my own research and observations, I have used information from a variety of sources for reference, as you will find below. However, please be kind with gaps or shortcomings. Read it at your own pace and enjoy this moment of solitude and self-reflection.
“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” C.G.Jung
If you enjoyed my post, *Wink* once.
*Wink* twice while subscribing and supporting me in writing more & better. *
Wink* trwice if you want to
Offer me a good COFFEE :) ☕
llustrations by: Struvictory.art
Resources:
1* Cows as currency
2* How to deal with feeling guilty about money
3*https://membean.com/rootcasts/matr-mother/
Money psychology and neuroeconomics
https://thisjungianlife.com/podcast/
Book:
Soul of money
Such a complex topic, which you've handled with competence and grace. Despite the fact that I instantly struggled with the Jungian archetypal roles in the opening paragraphs (my mother wasn't 'the nurturing role model who made me feel welcome and safe', and my father refused to handle money and left the financial management of our family household to my mother, even though he earned all the money!) I kept reading and learned so much!
I really appreciate the distinction you're making between shame and guilt. And the 'relationship with money at the hormonal level' is a new (to me) thought well worth pursuing.
Thank you so much, Katerina, for a fascinating article about a subject that affects all of us deeply 💕🙏
Money is only seriously used in authoritarian dominator societies. It's not neutral, it's not existential any more than a game of monopoly is existential; it's created by egotisical psychopaths who wish to control the behavior of others for their own selfish reasons.
Consider what the effect of money and how it gains value. It has value only because it's always kept in short supply for the masses. It guarantees a servant class out of the desperation that money itself creates. Rulers love it. That's why they all use it, if it didn't directly serve to maintain or expand their power they'd never maintain its use.
Money also creates a society based in lies, since people routinely take up activities they'd ordinarily never do unless the fear of scarcity or desire for control and status was driving their actions.